Celebrating the Life of Carolyn G. Bird : November 2012

Thanks to Friends and Family

Written by John's wife, Rin Harris, on behalf of all of the Bird family

Hello friends and family,

I'm writing to let you know the sad news that Carolyn Bird died two days ago. Jerry, Jimmy, John, Helen Andrew and Tim are currently with their dad/ Father-in-law and brothers and sister down in Green Valley, AZ, where Tad and Carolyn have lived for many years.

Those of you who we've seen in the last few weeks know that much, maybe most of our spare time has been spent supporting Carolyn and Tad during her last illness. For those of you we haven't seen, or who've been wondering why we haven't been in touch for so long, here is the short story.

Carolyn became incapacitated with what appeared to be a back injury late this spring. After several weeks of terrible pain which wasn't helped by rest, ice, or other remedies, she saw an orthopedic surgeon who diagnosed a bone infection in her lower spine which had been causing her so much pain.

She was admitted to the University of Arizona Medical Center in Tucson on July 25th. They soon discovered that her pacemaker and her heart valves were also infected, and she began a round of procedures and surgeries to take care of the new problems. Unfortunately, she suffered numerous complications during her stay, and for a few weeks it seemed that she might become a permanent fixture at the University of Arizona. She was on a first-name basis with most of the nurses and other staff throughout the hospital. (All of whom were wonderful!)

The rest of her family was on the same first name basis. In an incredible show of support, which will surprise no one who is familiar with the Bird family, numerous family members came from all over the country to support Tad and Carolyn throughout this ordeal. She had family with her every day and most nights in the hospital, and Tad had company as well as someone to help with the drive (Green Valley is almost an hour away from the University of Arizona Medical Center) most of the time.

Many of Carolyn's kids and spouses were able to visit Arizona and help on a continuous basis over the last seven weeks, and we owe a huge thanks to our kids for putting up with the chaos of frequent absences, single parenting frustration, and missed events over the last 2 months. We also are so grateful to the many friends and neighbors who assisted us - we couldn't have gotten through this time without their help.

Throughout all the pain, surgery, and complications Carolyn was a fighter and survivor. She also kept her wit and sense of humor close at hand. She seemed to be improving over the last 2, maybe 3, weeks. I was in Arizona when she was transferred from the medical center to an inpatient rehabilitation hospital on September 6th. When I left to return home on Sept. 12th, she had made a lot of headway in terms of strength and ability to move around, and she was looking forward to a visit with several of her grandchildren and other family in Salt Lake over Christmas.

She died while asleep, in bed, the morning of September 18th. This came as a shock to everyone, including her doctors at the rehabilitation hospital. We don't know what happened, but that is beside the point now. She would have been 79 years old this December, and up until April played tennis and swam several times a week.

Those of you who knew Carolyn will remember what an amazing and energetic woman she was - as well as generous and giving to everyone she knew. Those who know only one of her kids should know how much their parents shaped who they are… the Bird family is the most-close knit, supportive, and appreciative of "togetherness" family I have ever known. Carolyn was the foundation of and inspiration for that support in so many ways, and I know we will all work to carry on her example. I feel honored to have known her for so many years. We will all miss her so very much.

John was able to get to Arizona to be with his dad only a few hours after his mom died. His three other brothers and one sister joined them a short time later, and they have been remembering and celebrating Carolyn together. It has been a wonderful and very intense time of grieving, laughing, and trying to get all the tasks associated with the passing of a life taken care of.

We want to reach out to all of you - but are simply too busy and too tired right now to do it individually. We also want to thank everyone who has (or will) get in touch over the next days and weeks, even if we aren't able to write, call, or email back as soon as we'd like.

For those who know their father Tad and would like to send him a card or note, I'm including his address. I know he would love to hear from any of his children's friends, even if he hasn't met you.

Tad (or Walter, if you want to be formal, but he's seldom called that) Bird

635 South Park Centre Ave

Apt. 2207

Green Valley, AZ 85614

To those of you that we see frequently - thank you again for your support, help and understanding during the last several weeks. To those of you that we see too seldom - we miss you and hope to see you or be in touch again soon.

The History

Obituary

Carolyn Garrett Bird passed away in her sleep on September 18 in Tucson Arizona at age 78. Carolyn was born December 19, 1933 in Montgomery Alabama to Col. James Madison Garrett Jr. and Helen Foster Garrett. Being in a military family as the country ramped up for World War II meant dealing with a lot of travel and adapting to constant change - Carolyn attended four different school systems in second grade alone. As a result, travel became one of her passions and organizing trips and tackling the unknown became her specialties.

After graduating from Wellesley College in 1955, she married Walter (Tad) M. Bird Jr. on July 9, 1955 and began teaching school in East Bridgewater and then Acton, Massachusetts. Carolyn and Tad moved to Stow Massachusetts where they raised their family of four boys and a girl and the next set of adventures began. As a family they were constantly camping, hiking and skiing, activities that were new to Carolyn yet ones she embraced with a passion and around which she organized numerous, memorable trips. She was a member of the Appalachian Mountain 4,000 footer club and later, when she and Tad moved to Green Valley, Arizona, she was the president of the hiking club. Carolyn's other athletic joy was tennis and she played through this year.

With no previous experience, in 1982 she set off with her typical passion and founded and ran the Red Acre Farm Hearing Dog Center, saving dogs from animal shelters and training them to assist hearing impaired individuals and their families. As Executive Director, she taught herself all about the deaf community, the fundraising community and the animal shelter business as she created an internationally recognized organization and a leader in its field.

In 1992 she and Tad moved to Green Valley Arizona. There she hiked, played tennis and bridge. She was a founder and the first president of FATSO - Friends and Admirers of Tucson Symphony Orchestra. Until recently, she ran the Red Acre Farm Foundation providing funding and management assistance to numerous non-profits focused on animal causes and environmental education.

Carolyn's pride in life was the family she raised. In addition to Tad, she is survived by her children Walter M. Bird III of Andover, MA, James G. Bird of Mont Vernon, NH, John Q. Bird of Salt Lake City, UT, Helen Bird Guidotti of Durango, CO, Andrew Bird of Salt Lake City, UT, their spouses and ten grandchildren. She is also survived by her brother Elwood Garrett of La Combe, LA. A public remembrance will be held on Friday November 23 at St. Francis-in-the-Valley in Green Valley. A family burial will be held in Stow Massachusetts in the spring. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be sent to Appalachian Mountain Club, RedAcreFoundation.org. or Communityfoodbank.org of Tucson

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Remembrances (Madison): Carolyn G Bird Memorial Service

Remembrances: Carolyn G Bird Memorial Service
St. Francis in the Valley Church, Green Valley, AZ
November 23, 2012

Madison Bird: Let me read a note I wrote upon learning of Granlyn’s death and shared with my family. It’s as relevant now as it was 2 months ago.

Hi everyone. This last week has been tough to say the least. We lost one of the flock. Everyone is feeling it, and I've been having a tough time trying to translate thoughts to words. This email is my best attempt at doing so. I want everyone to reflect on what it means to be a Bird. And maybe it means something different to all of us, but I'll share what it means to me. I feel like being a Bird is exercising the values passed down from generations; values that were instilled in us as children and reinforced by our parents and grandparents. We all share a love for adventure that I believe originated from Grandlyn and Grandtad, or possibly earlier (but I would have no way of knowing). It means pursuing our interests and doing what makes us happy. I remember visiting G&G in Green Valley many years ago, and informing them of my interest in astronomy. Their first instinct was to take me to Kit Peak observatory for a tour, the only time I've ever been to an Observatory to this day. These values that they passed down to their children; my aunt, uncles, and father, are the values that were passed down to me, and the same that I plan to one day pass down to my children. I have grown up with the utmost respect for my family and desire to achieve just as each member has. The deep pain of losing one of my loved and respected family members is only lightened by the thought of what she has achieved, which is raise a loving and respectful family who are supportive and encouraging of their children's endeavors. We can be grateful that Grandlyn was present in the lives of the younger ones; Nathan, Austin, and Landrew; as no family member missed out on the privilege of Grandlyns support and happiness. Any success I've had in life is due to my motivation to make my family proud, and I feel obliged to continue making Grandyn proud wherever she may be. I hope this message finds everyone in good health, and I look forward to seeing you all soon. Much love, -Madison

Rembrances (Helen): Carolyn G Bird Memorial service

Remembrances: Carolyn G Bird Memorial Service

St. Francis in the Valley Church, Green Valley, AZ

November 23, 2012

You just don’t know what will stay with you when someone you love leaves forever. It may change over time, the small things anyway, but the big things, they stay forever, just as do the memories of a loved one. We are here because Tad and Carolyn met some 58 ½ years ago. Without that meeting, without their inseparable bond of all those years, encouraging, supporting and loving each other, we wouldn’t be here. All of us, right here, right now.

In all my years under their roof I can honestly say that not once did I ever see them disagree, argue, raise their voices or ever portray anything but a united, more often than not, happy front to their hooligan lot. I am sure that being human, they had their differences but I never saw them, an occasional vibe, possibly. But they truly got the parenting thing down well. I think we all felt that they allowed us to make our own decisions from a very young age. They might not have liked our decisions, they might not have felt it was the very best choice for us but they stood by whatever decision it was we made.

Carolyn was such a driving force in our lives. We were compelled to achieve as she did. Look at her life! She married a man, gave birth to four more and threw me in the lot for good measure. I spent my childhood trying to be one of the boys and so that left her in the sole female role, (we even had a boy dog and boy horse). OH, she tried to make me wear my skirts, perm my hair and learn about makeup. But REALLY, I HAD to fit in with the boys or else where would I be? She on the other hand was always beautifully dressed, elegant and standing tall and proud beside Tad.

There was nothing they didn’t accomplish together. Honestly, how many truly close friends do you each have? Those friends who are with you day in and day out, week, month, year, decade in and decade out? Those friends who carry you through times like these? Through sadness and loss, through four wheeling and Harvard/Yale games, New Years Eve parties and countless trips to places all over this planet? Those friends you make a point to see each and every year regardless of your circumstances. Those whom you know you don’t have to see each year but they are still your true friends, there for you. Well, look around you. Tad and Carolyn not only made family of utmost importance but also made their friends important to them. And in the midst of raising a large family and caring about their friends, they were wise enough to get away from all of us, each year, for a vacation of their very own, a chance to stay connected with each other and rejuvenate their relationship. Somehow Carolyn would find the time and was incredible about sending cards for every occasion to all of us and I think most of you. She was always so thoughtful and caring of everyone she called friend.

She had an endearing trait, mostly witnessed on our family trips, where she had to worry about something. Which usually culminated with her saying “I’m so happy!” But the worries were… Will we get there on time, will we learn lots, will the car hold up, will we have enough to eat (no small feat with this flock) but the worries were never enough to stop us from tackling something new. A house boat trip on the Mississippi, renting a camper to go to Expo ’67 in Montreal (that trip gave her lots to worry about for real) hiking in the Alps in Switzerland, watching the guards change at Buckingham Palace, a week-long horseback trip in the back country of Wyoming, hiking over glaciers in Banff, canoeing and fishing in Algonquin National park, renting a 50 foot sailboat complete with a Captain and crew (of one) who were a couple of years older than Jerry, to sail around the Caribbean. Just amazing experiences that helped shape each and every one of us and cemented a lifelong bond between each of us. The two of them made us more than 7 people who co existed. We are an extraordinary family because of the love and determination, the tears and the laughter, the clear boundaries of what was acceptable behavior when we were youngsters, the forgiving when we didn’t get it right. The ability to keep their mouths shut and let our lives unfold as each of us saw fit. to let that happen ensured that they would be able to have relationships with each of us as adults.

They were able to let us grow up and leave the nest, to go forth into the world to become successful human beings and yet we all, always knew that we had a safe landing place should things not go as planned, maybe because we didn’t listen to them, maybe because we made our own decisions and paid a price. They were always there for us. Even though Carolyn is not here with us now, I know we can talk to her. You know what she’ll say most of the time. When you need her advice, ask, listen closely and it will be there. She spent so much time with us all so that we would know her. By doing that she has left a part of herself in each and every one of us. She touched you somehow or you wouldn’t have made the effort to be here today. We are all so blessed that Carolyn and Tad met that day so many years ago and shared their life journey with us all. Those are some of the big memories I will carry with me forever.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Rembrances (Jerry): Carolyn G Bird Memorial Service

Remembrances: Carolyn G Bird Memorial Service

St. Francis in the Valley Church, Green Valley, AZ

November 23, 2012

Thanks to everyone for coming and sharing their love and their stories of Mom.

I have a couple of stories that highlight much about what we love and respect in Carolyn.

Living in Boston in the eighties and nineties, with the last name of Bird, you can't imagine how many times people would ask, "are you related to Larry Bird?" or “are you related to the Bird family that ran the roofing manufacturer in Walpole?” Seldom was it anyone I was related to. Fifteen years ago I was playing an afternoon game of golf by myself and eventually got backup behind a foursome. As did the guy behind me. So we joined up and introduced ourselves. At the next hole, he glanced at the name-tag on my bag and asked, "You aren't by any chance related to .... the Birds in Stow?"

"Yes I grew up and Stow. My parents are Tad and Carolyn"

"Then I knew your mother. After you hit your shot, I've got to tell you a story"

"Mrs. Bird was my teacher in second grade. She was new that year. I remember the first day when we all came in for class and in walked this blonde bombshell. She was a very good teacher; demanding and fair. I think she was only in Acton for a year as then she left to raise her family." ( that would be me, nipping a promising teaching career in the bud).

He continued - "I was having a tough year. My mother had died that summer and I was a little out of sorts for that still. I wasn't very focused on my school work and pretty soon my grades showed it. I had bad habits, I wasn't motivated, I was sliding by with the minimum effort required. Eventually my father came into school with me for a conference and he asked your mother why she was being so hard on me. My work was as good as the other kids, and I was going through some hard times."

"Mr. Pasanen" she said, "Wayne is a very intelligent boy. I know he has gone through hard times, but he has his whole life in front of him. I am hard on him because I expect more from him."

"Well that made all the difference. It turned me around. Someone had high expectations for me. She wasn't mean. She cared. She pushed me to achieve and I kept those habits and discipline though out my schooling and career."

Dr. Wayne Pasanen ended up running the emergency department at Lowell General Hospital in Massachusetts for thirty years and was on the board of many civic organizations in the City.

My thoughts were, "I just knew her as Mom." a bombshell? Changing kids lives? Weren't we lucky to have that passion, caring and energy focused on us.

The second story takes place about the time the kids were all leaving the house. After those two years of teaching, Mom spent almost all her time raising her family, although she did have a part-time bookkeeping job at Red Acre Farm.

So what to do? Why not start a Hearing dog center? Did she have any experience with training dogs? nope. Working with deaf people? Nope. Fundraising, managing a workforce, PR, politics? No, no, no, no.

Quoting from the 100 year history of Red Acre Farm, it says "Throughout the summer of 1980, Carolyn Bird studied the feasibility of undertaking a Hearing Dog program, considering the need for such a program, whether adequate facilities existed, how Red Acre Farm would be able to finance it. ... She sought information and advice from experts in the fields of humane work and deaf education." That done, she started the Center. Having done her homework, there was no reason she could NOT succeed at building this organization.

I am sure most of you here would not be surprised to read further in the history that, "Progress at the Hearing Dog Center was right on schedule, with the first placement occurring in the fall of 1981."

The idea that she couldn't do something never crossed her mind. And she built a nationally recognized organization that provided trained dogs across a 43 states, had over a dozen employees and coordinated a hundred plus volunteers. Did I say nationally recognized? The Hearing dog Center was written up in the Wall Street journal and she appeared in dozens of TV shows in the regions where the dogs were placed as well as the Today show and Good Morning America. And a morning show in Japan. The Red Acre Hearing Dog center had a sterling reputation. Isn’t that what you would expect the standards sets?

We miss Mom a lot. And yet, as Madison put it so well, she set a wonderful example for all of us. And it lives on in her kids and grandchildren. Her caring for others, her high standards, and her confidence and ability to make things happen are what we will always cherish.